Mah birfday

:D

New Laptop

Yay! I got my new laptop! She's a real beauty too. :) I think she'll serve all my needs. *knock on wood*

Book Prices for School

Holy crap. I'd heard they were expensive, but Jaysus. $163 for a book on Microsoft Word 2010? Why would I even need that!? Gah.

T_T There goes some of my extra money.

Reaffirming the need of the books.

As I've stated before (I think), my brother sells books on Amazon. Since he gets me and our other brother to help, we get paid 10% each of the earnings. This has been very lucrative for us while we haven't had a real job.

Lately, he's been trying to sell clothes at a consignment sale, in bulk. He figured that considering how well he did the first time at the sale, that we'd sell a lot more this time. Unfortunately, this was not to be.

We only sold a small amount more than we'd make on an average day of book sales, for a much, MUCH larger bit of effort. The lesson we have learned is that the almighty books take care of us and we should not disobey. @_@

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Time for another one of my favorite songs. :)

This one is from Tears for Fears. This song makes me really happy.

Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you acting on your best behavior
Turn your back on Mother Nature
Everybody wants to rule the world.

It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world.

There's a room where the light won't find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind you.
So glad we've almost made it
So sad they had to fade it
Everybody wants to rule the world.

I can't stand this indecision
Married with a lack of vision
Everybody wants to rule the world
Say that you'll never never never never need it
One headline why believe it?
Everybody wants to rule the world.

News time, children.

Time for an update on the life of Joseph.


As for the laptop, I'm looking into a few of them. I want one that can run Oblivion and Fallout 3 fairly competently. Other than that, not much is going on. I'll update more if anything crazy/important happens. Ciao!

The Impossible Dream

This entry is a little different from the others. I'm just gonna post the lyrics to a song that means a lot to me and a video to go with it, with a brief bit of background.

This song is "The Impossible Dream" from the show Man of La Mancha. I always get goosebumps whenever I hear it, and it instantly makes me feel better when I'm down. :)

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go
To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star



The lyrics are different sometimes, but the meaning is still the same. :)

Busy Busy Busy

Sorry for the lack of posts.

It's been rather busy for me over the past couple of weeks. We've sold a ton of books lately and getting them packaged and shipped has taken awhile. We've also gone on several trips out of town over the weekends. We've been to Nashville, Chattanooga, and Atlanta in the span of a few weeks.

During the Fourth of July weekend, we went to Atlanta (as stated above). There we saw Phantom of the Opera, for its final official tour. The show was rather excellent, though my seat had me squinting a lot. Not that I haven't seen the show already. It's one of the three shows I've seen on Broadway. After that, we went to the laser/fireworks show at Stone Mountain. That was really cool, but the walk to and from the place was practically a hike, and we were all exhausted that night.

Besides that, not much more besides working. We're going to Atlanta again this weekend, for a reptile convention. That should be a lot of fun. :)

Growing Up

It's hard to say what the best part of being a kid was. Was it the near-unlimited energy for playing we had? Maybe the fact that taking a nap didn't make you feel like crap afterward? The fact that you could play the same games over and over without getting tired of them? Possibly that you didn't have to worry about much more than whether you'd miss Rugrats (or whatever)? Maybe it's a little bit of all of these.

When you hit a certain age, you find that you don't have unlimited energy. You find that naps are few and far-between and that they leave you groggy and cranky. You find yourself bored with games, sometimes even before making it to the end. You find that there's a lot to worry about: school, relationships, politics, life in general.

You get tons of responsibilities shoved onto you. Perhaps your parents prepared you for this. Maybe they helped you make decisions that would make your transition easier. Perhaps they forced you along a path, hoping that you'd find happiness along the way. Maybe they didn't do any of that, and coddled you and left you with no knowledge of the real world or the problems you'll face.

Regardless, we all have to face the fact at some point that we can't be kids forever. You won't always have your guardians to watch over you. Sometime, you have to take the leap. I'll be the first to admit that it's been hard for me. I've had a lot handed to me, even without the most affluent of families. I haven't had to work for much, nor was I taught how to socialize and gain friends with such affluence (not that I'd particularly want that anyway, I love my friends the way they are.)

We know that we must spread our wings, so to say, and leave the nest. Should we also abandon all the things we enjoyed as children? Some would argue so. They cast out the things they enjoyed in an attempt to appear more mature. What is maturity, though? Is it really casting off everything we held dear as children? I don't think so. I believe maturity is accepting your responsibilities as an adult, and trying to make your way through it. I think it's about accepting reality, while still reaching for your goals.

I guess we all have different definitions for maturity and growing up, in general. Regardless of what they are, I'd say one of our biggest responsibilities is to make our world a better place. This is our time to shine, guys. Let's make the best of it.

Worry Worry Worry

What if this happens? What if that happens? What if this doesn't happen? These are common questions for me.

I tend to worry a lot. It's something I've done ever since I was a child, and I have no idea why I do it so much. Perhaps it's because of something that happened when I was a kid, or maybe it's because of all the the things that could possibly go wrong. Indeed, I do worry about the things that can go wrong with a situation; probably more than other people do. I guess it's just a part of me.

Right now, the things I worry about are things like, "What if they don't give me the financial aid that the FAFSA says I should get?" or "Will I really make a good teacher?" or even "Am I really a good boyfriend?" I'm told not to worry, but it really doesn't help. I'm not even trying to live up to anyone's expectations except my own, and it still doesn't keep me from being worried that I won't be happy.

I guess this is just a part of who I am. I'm always going to be this way. I just hope that it won't be as bad as it has been in the past.

Avenue Q

I love musicals. I will never, ever make any claim to the otherwise. I listen to the Broadway channel on satellite radio, AccuBroadway online, and several of my cast albums. One of my many favorites is Avenue Q. It's raunchy, hilarious, and perhaps most important of all, relevant. It uses comedy to teach its lessons. It does this very well.

I had the great pleasure of seeing the show tonight at the Tennessee Theatre. At first, I had feared that the show wouldn't do very well here, considering this is Knoxville and is infested with many uptight, Republican types. The response was greatly refreshing. There were many young people such as myself and older people alike that all enjoyed the show. I hadn't expected many to show up, but the house was pretty much full. I am very happy with this.

The show itself was awesome. I can't really think of a performer that I liked more than the others, but I will say I really enjoyed Kate Monster, Bryan, and the Bad Idea Bears. During the For Now song, instead of Bush, they said "GLENN BECK is only for now!" which got a lot of applause. The songs were all wonderfully done, and now I know the situations for all of the songs I had been listening to for a few years.

After the show, being astounded by the greatness of the show, Jordan and I (Jordan being my younger brother) went to the parking lot. After we made it to the car, we decided it would take forever to wait for the traffic to leave, so we turned around to go to Market Square and look for something to eat. On our way over there, we met a few of the male cast of the show, and we chatted for a little while. They signed our playbills too, and said that our audience was one of the best they've had for the whole tour. This made us very happy, especially because of our fears that the show wouldn't be accepted too well in Knoxville.

All in all, tonight was great. Truly, this whole week has been. E3 is going on and Nintendo won me over for their first E3 in forever. We saw Avenue Q and got to meet some of the cast. We're seeing Toy Story 3 this week. Hopefully, we'll make more money on the books tomorrow. For now though, I'm going to go listen to some Avenue Q and work on beating Mega Man Zero 2.

My story.

I figured for my second post, I'd say a little bit about myself. I was born at UT Hospital in Knoxville, Tennessee on August 28, 1989. I was a preemie, and as such, I was born without completely functioning lungs, which still affects me to this day. I have two brothers, well, one brother and one half-brother who I still count as a full brother. I still have both of my parents, one working, the other disabled and cannot work.

As a young boy, I was always fascinated with animals. I'd draw them for hours on end at school, when I had my assignments finished. I was introduced to video-games at my grandfather's coin-operated laundromat with the game Ms. Pacman. For the brief first time that my older brother lived with us, he brought along his NES, which we all played for hours on end. At school, my love of video games helped me make my first friends.

From early on, I could tell that I was different in a lot of ways from my friends. Many of them were out-going and into sports, while I was shy and preferred staying inside. My friends had families that were more well-off than mine, which became a constant source of embarrassment for myself, when I couldn't have many of the things my friends had. I learned to lie rather well early on because of this. I lied about having things I did not. I lied for the sake of making myself fit in. I lied because I thought I had to.

As I progressed through school, I found that I actually paid attention in class, while most of the others never thought of doing so. I made rather good grades comparatively because of this. Science, English, and History were my particular favorites. Eventually my friends talked me into playing card games instead of doing extra-curricular activities, which I believe now to be a great mistake. Not that I didn't love to play those games, but it made me feel guilty to neglect my education.

Around seventh-grade, I had an appendectomy for an appendix that would have killed me had I been much later. Due to the severity of the problem, I have a rather large, ugly scar across my abdomen. I believe this was the first point at which I developed an image problem. Because of this and the sedentary life-style I had adopted in recovery, I began to gain a large amount of weight, leading further into what would eventually become an eating disorder.

I found that my former best-friend in school was not such great material for a best friend after awhile of ignoring me in conversations and being talked about behind my back. I quickly lost most respect for him, but our friendship would not end until later, when I finally started gaining my own thoughts and opinions. Even my other friends were pressured into not hanging out with me, because I was "strange." I told them that they didn't have to be around me, but they continued to talk to me.

In high school, I found myself in what seemed like a whole new world. There were several new people there and several new cliques. I ended up mostly avoiding my old friends and finding new ones. Puberty was not fun. Mostly because I was a late bloomer and I didn't start getting tall until I was in my Junior year. I ran into a bit of trouble in my Sophomore year, but I probably shouldn't talk about that.

I joined the Upward Bound program at the insistence of my best friend of the time, at the end of my Sophomore year. This led to some of my most cherished memories and some of my roughest times, emotionally. I lost my religion somewhere around this time, and never found it again, something that I am proud of. I was hit by the hormone train, hard. I fell in and out of love during the summers of those years very quickly, usually with the same person! I had a couple of relationships with girls that didn't last very long and a fling that, while nice, was not in the least satisfying to me. I'd find out why later.

After graduation, I had intentions of becoming a teacher, but due to my own fault, I didn't enter college afterward. I instead planned to skip a semester or two and find myself. After this, I started having misgivings about teaching altogether as part of my image problem. It wasn't until much later that my interest would be renewed.

By the time I met my now best friend, I started noticing my attraction to other boys. For the longest while, I thought I was bi, but I kept my thoughts to myself until after graduation. After that, I found out pretty soon that I wasn't. I had no attraction to girls at all. I came out to myself fairly easily, and things happened rather quickly from there.

I had my first boyfriend early that next year. I knew him somewhat from high-school, and our mutual interest in video-games really allowed us to hit it off. Because of him, I had new interest in actually getting into college, learning how to drive (still don't), and getting a job (also don't.) Shortly before I enrolled at school, he broke up with me. I was blindsided. For months afterward, I was depressed. My friends tried to help, but couldn't soothe my sadness. I contemplated suicide for quite awhile.

Nihilism was my new philosophy and I wished for nothing less than complete cessation of existence. If I couldn't have that, I felt that I could easily end my own life and not have to worry about anything ever again. It didn't help that my loan for school was revoked and that I was dropped from my classes at this time. It was the darkest part of my life and I filled it with thoughts of suicide and drinking.

I started being online pretty much all of the time at this point. Eventually, I found a community that I actually wished to participate in. Having a community helped me in many ways, but I was still empty inside.

Eventually, I had renewed interest in doing something that made me happy, and that was learning more about history so I could become a future teacher. I've enrolled at Walter's State Community College for this fall, and I hope that everything goes well.

I left out several parts of my story, but I thought it was already too long anyway, so I'll spare further details for later posts. Typing all of this out and seeing it on screen makes me realize how young I still am, and that there is time for me to do the things I want to do with my life. Let's see how it goes, eh?

Edit #1: Also note, that these events are all from my point of view. Others may have different opinions of said events, but this is my abridged life as I remember it.

New Blog!

Greetings and salutations! I've decided to start a new blog for all the things I like to talk about that aren't video games. This blog's name comes from a quite famous video made by Thomas Edison, which involved shocking an elephant to discredit his rival, Nikola Tesla. Many scientists these days prefer Tesla over Edison. I'm no scientist, but I also prefer Mr. Tesla over a hack like Edison. Mr. Tesla believed in free energy for all. While we will never know what may have happened if Tesla wasn't driven into depression by Edison, his belief in free energy for all was noble.

Monetary gain tends to impede human well-being in many cases. In this blog, I'll express my opinions on politics, history, and whatever else I feel like. I do hope in the future to be a high school history teacher, so I'll also talk about my progress in school and in life in general. I do hope to update this blog more often than the other one! Let the journey begin!